2015 (sixteen years old)

In February 2015, I joined Twitter (*click*).

"Twitter" logo

My twitter account (Joined February 2015)

This app was and still is a Mecca for Fandoms. Not only would I obviously follow every member of the band, as well as their siblings and girlfriends, I also followed many update accounts and fans with huge and smaller followings. I am now aware that this behavior was obsessive, but back then I did not recognize how problematic that was. I loved the app since it felt as if every fan, all over the world, had an account and would communicate with each other constantly. Knowing plenty of insider jokes gave me the feeling of belonging to a certain group or club, that no one else was a part of besides the fans of One Direction. If people used certain hashtags and would post tweets about something regarding the band or fandom, I would join in.

If someone else had said something remotely negative about the members, group/songs, a huge shit storm would follow and I would be a part of it. Looking back at this I am on one hand grateful to have experienced the feeling of belonging somewhere and not having to hide what I like, being able to have fun with other people and bond over jokes, on the other hand I feel extremely disappointed in my teenager self, for judging other people’s opinions, if they were not aligned with mine.

In that time frame, I engaged the most with people on the internet, that shared my liking for the band. I would retweet their tweets, they would retweet mine, we would send each other direct messages and with some, I even exchanged phone numbers. The closest friend I gained from twitter was a girl named Keylie, who lived in Frankfurt. She was my age, had long blond-brownish hair, brown eyes and was one of my best friends at that time. We would text each other daily, talk on the phone and communicate over twitter. She liked the boys as much as I did and we bonded over that.

My friend Keylie

2015 was a very intense year for me. It was filled with a lot of drama, cries, and laughter. If I think about my fandom experience now, the over dramatization of events that happened is something that comes to my mind. The number of tweets regarding One Direction and what they said or did, was astonishing. Everything they did got dissected under a microscope and everyone voiced their opinion about it. Not considering that they were five guys in their twenties, a lot of their actions brought more negative attention than necessary. 

The world was seemingly over, after a video of two members smoking a blunt surfaced

Zayn smoking a joint 

and hell opened up, after another two were pictured kissing girls, even though they both had a girlfriend at that time. If these things are ethically justifiable is questionable but a lot of people made it seem like nothing worse on this planet happened before.

In general, there was a lot of dramatization, hate, conspiracy theories and fights happening over insignificant things. But my sixteen-year-old self and millions of others in this Fandom did not acknowledge this. As soon as something negative or dramatic happened in the Fandom, it would subconsciously stress me out. I would check my social media accounts religiously every hour and create multiple bad scenarios in my head. But when the bad times passed I had countless amazing experiences in the Fandom and cherished every moment. 

I was also part of projects, that fan accounts would create. Thousands of fans would promote their new singles, call or text radio stations to persuade the hosts to play them and we would listen to their released songs on Spotify or YouTube on repeat to break new records. 

I am especially proud of this project I was a part of: *click*

If the band was up to win an award, it was our time to shine. I would sit in front of my computer and vote continuously until my fingers hurt. And once we won an award, which happened quite frankly, I would feel as proud as a mother. In general, I started to gain a lot of confidence regarding One Direction in 2015. I was less afraid to defend them against some classmates and people generally knew that I liked the band. And surprisingly, no one bullied me or made some rude comments. In a way, this shaped my character a lot. My mum would always describe me as fearlessly standing up for other people and defending them in a situation where they were wrongfully accused, for instance, by a teacher, even if I were not friends with them. To be honest, I think sticking up for myself and being confident in the things I liked is something I acquired through the One Direction Fandom.